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Thursday, April 23, 2009

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?

Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof : Is God good?

Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?

Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?

Student : No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?

Student: From...God.. .

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold . Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat.. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy . Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it .
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent.. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable. )

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir... The link between man & God is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving & alive.





student was none other than........ .

Muhammad Ali Jinnah , Founder of Pakistan.

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Aay say Zee.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

How to make a woman happy?
It’s not that difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A chef
5. A carpenter
6. An electrician
7. A plumber
8. A mechanic
9. A decorator
10. A stylist
11. A driver
12. A gynecologist
13. A psychologist
14. A pest exterminator
15. A psychiatrist
16. A heater
17. A good listener
18. An organizer
19. A good father
20. Very clean
21. Sympathetic
22. Athletic
23. Warm
24. Attentive
25. Gallant
26. Intelligent
27. Funny
28. Creative
29. Tender
30. Strong
31. Understanding
32. Tolerant
33. Prudent
34. Ambitious
35. Capable
36. Courageous
37. Determined
38. True
39. Dependable
40. Passionate
41. Compassionate

Without forgetting to:

42. Give her compliments regularly
43. Love Shopping
44. Be Honest
45. Be very rich
46. Not Stress her out
47. Not look at other girls

Easy na?

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Car-nama

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Dedicated to my Dinky 2:
Purani meri car hai
Chalana dushwar hai
iss mai bethna to dur ki baat
issay dekhna baikaar hai
bas tariq road tak lay chal
mere dil mai machi hai halchal
karti hogi wo intizaar
jo mera pehla pyar hai
lolzzzzzzz

Aaj bilawaja he pyar aa raha hai apni purani dost pay. I thought to dedicate a song for my dear.

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Bedroom Art

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My friend's brother did that in his bedroom. Wow it looks amazing. But he drew and painted that all by himself. I want this in my bedroom too...

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Qissa un ki Inayat ka

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Yesterday an Excise Inspector came to my home and informed me that I need to have valuation of my new home. And he told me that if I go for a fair way then I’ll have to pay 35000 every year to tax department but if I can pay him under the table then he will reduce it to 3 to 4 thousand per year. Bhala batao kia zamana aa gya hai. Sitting on my sofa drinking a glass of chilled 7up when he asked for bribe to qassam say dunia ka manhoos tareen insaan lga wo mujhey.
Anyway, now I have come up over something very new to me, and I have discovered a new phrase. Kia yaad kray gi dunia….arz kia hai….

sitaron se age jahan aur bhi hain
abhi dunia mai manhoos aur bhi hain
tahi zindagi se nahin ye fazayen
yahan saikaron bayghairat aur bhi hain

***Sorry Allama Sahab****

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بے حِس۔۔

Saturday, October 18, 2008

ایک جنازہ دیکھ کہ ایک لڑکی مسکرایَ ۔ ایک بابا جی بولے "بیٹی جوان موت پہ مسکراتے نہیں"۔ لڑکی: بابا کیا کروں؟ وعدہ کیا تھا جب بھی ملیں گے مسکرا کے ملیں گے۔۔۔۔۔۔

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Sitaroon say agay Jahan aur bhi hain...

Friday, October 10, 2008

One fine usual morning my Manager came to office and like every other day he put off his jacket and hung it to his locker and after shaking hands with everyone he went to his cabin. Almost in a shouting way he called upon my name and said “Fahad come here I have got something for you”, when I reached to his cabin, he showed me a wrapper of something which was then very new to me just like a spaceship from some other world. At that instant he showed it to me jitney log bhi mere saath aye thay office k excitement mai sab ultay pair wapis bhaag gaye. But I stood there calmly, I asked him whats this sir? “It will help you quit smoking” and by saying that he opened it and gave me some very small “puriya” type thingy which he later told me was Tambakoo Kheni” some thing like that. Following his order/instruction I placed that small puriya behind my lower lip and left his cabin. After few minutes I felt that I can see everything which is supposed to be or actually should be on sky wo bhi raat mai. Anyway, that didn’t helped me quit smoking but at least it helped me in a sense that on that particular day I spend most of my time sitting/relaxing/watching tv. Cuz I had a fair excuse that “mujhey aik k do nazar aa rahay hain”.
Since that day that thing has become one of my fears. And few kuttay/manhoos/_______ friends knows it that I runs off from its disgusting smell and they keep teasing me by offering it to me.

Allah pochay ga tum logoon ko.

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o_o

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Photobucket


its a superman!
its batman
its a spiderman!

no its kakapooooo!

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Un even.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Eid has been passed away and may be i had a worst time of my life in that eid, my younger brother had an accident on first eid night. And it was those which are un forgetable. He is recovering by the Grace of Allah and leaving back for dubai tomorrow after opening ceremony of his sticthes which he got from that accident.
Need prays.

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پانی کا بلبلہ

Thursday, September 11, 2008

میں اپنے ڈیپارٹمنٹ کا اسسٹنٹ مینیجر ہوں اور اپنے کام کے معاملے میں بہت سخت بھی ہوں۔ کسی کے ساتھ کوئ رعایت نہیں برتتا بات اگر اصول کی ہو تو۔ میرے اپنے کچھ اصول ہیں جن کے ہاتھوں میں اکثر خود بھی قربان ہوتا ہوا آیا ہوں۔اپنی اسی عادت کو لے کے رات کو سونے سے پہلےاکثر جب میں ۱۰ منٹ سیلف اسسمنٹ پروگرام کے تحت اپنا مواخذہ کرتا ہوں تو ذہن میں کئ میرے ہاتھوں ستم اُٹھاے ہوے سٹاف کے لوگوں کے چہرے گھوم جاتے ہیں۔ مجھے یقین ہے وہ لوگ دو چیزیں سوچتے ضرور ہونگے، یا تو دل کھول کے مجھے بد دعائیں دیتے ہوں گے یا پھر مجھے جان سے مار ڈالنے کے طریقے سوچتے ہوں گے۔ کسی کو مار ڈالنا میرے ذاتی نظرئیے میں اتنا آسان کام نہیں ہے مگر ہاں بددعا پر غور کیا جا سکتا ہے۔ غور کر چکنے کے بعد جب میں اپنا جائزہ لیتا ہوں تو نظر آتا ہے دھان پان سا ایک بندہ، جو کسی بھی عام انسان کی طرح کیلے کے چھلکے سے پھسل کے بھی جان بحق ہو سکتا ہے۔شائد ہی ایک لیٹر سے زیادہ خون ہو مجھ میں۔بس ایک لائف گارڈ ہے میرے پاس وہ جنت کی ہوا مطلب میری ماں کی دعا ہے، جس کے نا ہونے کا دھیان موسٰی کو بھی اللہ نے دلا دیا تھا۔یہ سوچ کے ایک لمبی سانس لیتا ہوں، ایک شیطانی مسکراھٹ ہونٹوں پر آجاتی ہےاور میں ایک بار پھر نت نئے طریقے سوچنا شروع کر دیتا ہوں کہ کیسے ان ہڈ دھرموں کو راہِ راست پر لایا جائے۔

روئدادِ زندگانی جاری ہے جب تک زندگی ہے۔۔۔۔

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